Secret of the Pearl

What's the Big Secret?

The Secret is deep down within YOU

Did you know that the pearl is the only gem formed in the body of a living creature?

When a pebble is irritating the soft inner body of an oyster, the oyster acts in accord with its natural design to transform that pebble into a lustrous pearl. It does this by giving of its innermost self to cover the irritant, layer by layer, with the luminous substance of its inside shell.

That substance is called nacre, and is also known as mother of pearl.

So, is there a luminous substance that abides in our innermost selves? When life lodges a pebble (or a big, jagged rock) in my heart, is there some kind of spiritual practice that activates within me a luminous protective coating that transforms the seeming trouble into a spiritual treasure?

Could the practice that sets off the transformation be spiritual willingness, praise and wonder, curiosity, surrender, acceptance, gratitude, divine grace?

Is it all of the above . . . or maybe none of the above.

I don’t have a definitive answer on how to activate our innermost pearl-making mollusk. But I am willing to share my experience, strength and hope with an ancient spiritual practice that many know in the Judeo-Christian tradition as Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence. It’s also known by others as Non-Resistance (Buddhism), Wu Wei (Taoism) or by the catchy phrase of “Let Go, and Let God.”

The posts on this blog are my humble reflections and personal witness to the amazing things God has done for me and with me in the midst of intense personal and family challenges, including divorce, a father with dementia, and the death of my young adult son. Oh, and open-heart surgery at age 49. Plus Hurricaine Katrina. Not to mention a spectacular but little known break-down that I now see as the start of a deep spiritual awakening. And all of that within the last seven years.

But honestly, none of that matters. I realize that my life has been and continues to contain far more blessings than challenges. I mention those circumstances only to let you know that I’ve walked a little bit of the road of earthly suffering that always leads to a fork — faith or despair, life or death. I did control and despair for a few decades. Now, I choose surrender and faith. I choose life. You can choose life, too. Here’s how it started for me . . .

The Backstory

"Why do we have to suffer so much?" That was the question I whispered to God in the back of a New Orleans Catholic church in the early 2000s.

The answer came in a brief vision that I've been meditating upon for nearly 25 years. It was the image of an oyster being cracked open, revealing a beautiful pearl.

The words that accompanied that unexpected image were simple but profound: raw material.

The fuller sense of the message was, "When joined with Me, suffering is the raw material for exquisite beauty. Just as the crucifixion was transformed into the resurrection, so the oyster's suffering caused by a pebble is transformed into a pearl."

Woah. Well, that changes everything.

In times of trouble, I now had the insight to start looking for the transformation. I began to "watch and pray." (MT 26:41)

External people, places and things may or may not have changed. But my thoughts and emotions and senses did change as I surrendered each pebble into the luminous ocean of Divine Mercy. I spoke at a lot of women’s prayer breakfasts spreading that message and wrote a little about it in a book of spiritual testimonies. I incorporated it into my vocation of using law and policy to help women with unexpected pregnancies.

"God is love," says the scripture, "and whoever abides in Love abides in God and God in him." (1 JN 4:13).

Abide in Love. That was not the way of the world. The way of the world was to manipulate and control. I was really good at that. It took a lot of life lessons for me to learn how to abide.

So, I began offering my troubles one by one into the Heart of Eternal Love. I was prompted to do this with a radical trust in God's merciful love, believing that God wanted my good and the good of my loved ones even more than I did.

But after healing from an open heart surgery in 2015, the troubles got beyond me. My family seemed swept under the crashing waves of the family disease of a son’s drug addiction, mental health hospitalizations, and marital discord. My trust vanished as I took the wheel in an ill-fated attempt to fix everyone and everything. When matters got worse, I fell for the greatest temptation -- the belief that God hated me and wanted to kill my children. Yeah. Pretty dark stuff.

I bottomed out. The wheels came off. I wished for death in the hazy escape of numbing substances and codependent over-control. Yes, the pro-life lawyer was wishing for death.

By the grace of God, I became desperate enough to ask for help in July of 2018. And God’s people answered the call. That’s a whole story in itself, but suffice it to say that powerful help came from women and men who had been through the mill themselves.

Through several programs of recovery based on 12-step spirituality, these amazing people showed me how they make a daily decision to put their will and their life in the care of God, as they understand God. I wanted what they had.

After a few years working a daily program of spiritual recovery and monthly consultation with my spiritual director who is a Catholic priest, my way of life and my relationships transformed in visible ways — especially with the unexpected gift of a husband and life partner who is a man after God’s own heart. The love, protection and shoulder-to-shoulder insights that I receive from this man is one of the greatest gifts of my life.

As time went by, I began a new and deeper morning practice of trustful prayer and meditation using the Surrender Novena of mystic priest Father Dolindo Ruotolo as a guiding centerpiece. I watched in wonder at how God would do for me what I could not do for myself.

My conscious contact with God improved by working with others to share the gift of a spiritual solution to all of life’s challenges.

To this day, even in the deep grief for the death of my 29-year-old son to fentanyl poisoning in 2022, I see how God transforms my pain into a living experience of serenity, gratitude and merciful love that I find deep down within me. I now see that heartbreaking loss and every single circumstance as a chapter in the book of my life entitled Experience, Strength and Hope. The purpose of my living book is to freely share it with others, as others had freely allowed me to read and learn from their living books.

So, back to the pearl analogy that I was given in the midst of prayer.

Life is hard. It gives us plenty of pebbles. Some big, some small. Some are jagged and some are smooth. What if those pebbles of perceived suffering are actually the raw material for something beautiful? What if they are the necessary element for the creation of a new experience to be treasured and shared with others after our hardened hearts are broken open? Perhaps this is part of the divine mystery of each of us being created in the image and likeness of God the Creator.

Perhaps this is part of what Christ taught about the Kingdom of God being within us: "The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, 'See here!' or 'See there' For indeed the kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:20-21

This core teaching of the God-man who resurrected from the dead seems to present a powerful truth that the Kingdom of God is not something external, but rather that a state of our interior being when we make a decision to make God the King by intentionally seeking and asking for the grace to follow the loving will of the Divine rather than my own limited self-seeking will. instead of our"the Kingdom of Heaven is within you."

I humbly share these reflections with you in hopes that we can embark together on a pearl hunt. I’d love to hear from you and learn with you. Together, we can rediscover the ancient and modern spiritual practice of Surrender that transforms traumas into treasures — on this earth and into eternity.

With love and gratitude,

Dorinda